2025 — A Year of Laughs, Chaos, and a Fish That Needs to Calm Down
Danny Browning-December 2025
NEWS4U Evansville
NEWS4U Evansville
We made it, folks. If you're reading this, congratulations...you survived 2025!
This is the year that pigeons started spying on us, America got its own Pope, and the Gulf of Mexico somehow got a new name, like it was switching phone plans. Meanwhile, I've talked to ChatGPT more than I've spoken to my own family, and at this point, I think it deserves its own stocking. We also encountered drastic weather, crazy politics, and a museum robbery so brazen that motion picture director James Cameron has already purchased the rights to make a movie about it in 20 years.
What an insane month we had to kick off the year. In January, Donald Trump was sworn in as President, and his first official act was to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. For days, loud crashes echoed around the world as mapmakers hurled their globes out the window. I asked Siri to navigate to it, and she's still buffering.
Then came February. It was cold, dark, and miserable to watch from the couch. Not the weather, our U.S. Winter Olympic Team. Somewhere between the curling mishaps and figure skating falls, I started cheering for the commercials. By the second week, the torch wasn't the only thing flickering out, so was my will to live.
Just in time for Spring, science gave us one of the most captivating and thought-provoking discoveries in modern history. Researchers found a species of fish that can mate up to 27 times a day! Scientists went on to say that the female is instantly attracted to the male, but the male doesn't really want commitment.
Next, just when it felt like humanity couldn't possibly top that, Travis Kelce finally proposed to Taylor Swift. Economists estimate the engagement ring alone boosted the GDP by 2%. When asked for comment, Kelce said he knew she was the one for him after she managed to sit through an entire Chiefs game without turning it into a breakup album or becoming violently ill.
Finally, we all enjoyed watching the Louvre heist, a crime so bold it made Ocean's Eleven look like amateur hour. Random thieves in Paris pulled up to the most famous museum in the world, climbed through a window, and in a matter of minutes had grabbed a French monarch's family jewels.
So here we are, closing the book on a year that gave us spy pigeons, overachieving fish, and Kim Kardashian flunking her BAR exam for the third time. If I've learned anything this year, it's that the world is still unpredictable, absurd, and still capable of surprising me in the most ridiculous ways. In 2026, I want to spend less time doomscrolling and more time laughing at the news, at myself, and at the miracle of being here to be able to watch it all unfold.
This is the year that pigeons started spying on us, America got its own Pope, and the Gulf of Mexico somehow got a new name, like it was switching phone plans. Meanwhile, I've talked to ChatGPT more than I've spoken to my own family, and at this point, I think it deserves its own stocking. We also encountered drastic weather, crazy politics, and a museum robbery so brazen that motion picture director James Cameron has already purchased the rights to make a movie about it in 20 years.
What an insane month we had to kick off the year. In January, Donald Trump was sworn in as President, and his first official act was to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. For days, loud crashes echoed around the world as mapmakers hurled their globes out the window. I asked Siri to navigate to it, and she's still buffering.
Then came February. It was cold, dark, and miserable to watch from the couch. Not the weather, our U.S. Winter Olympic Team. Somewhere between the curling mishaps and figure skating falls, I started cheering for the commercials. By the second week, the torch wasn't the only thing flickering out, so was my will to live.
Just in time for Spring, science gave us one of the most captivating and thought-provoking discoveries in modern history. Researchers found a species of fish that can mate up to 27 times a day! Scientists went on to say that the female is instantly attracted to the male, but the male doesn't really want commitment.
Next, just when it felt like humanity couldn't possibly top that, Travis Kelce finally proposed to Taylor Swift. Economists estimate the engagement ring alone boosted the GDP by 2%. When asked for comment, Kelce said he knew she was the one for him after she managed to sit through an entire Chiefs game without turning it into a breakup album or becoming violently ill.
Finally, we all enjoyed watching the Louvre heist, a crime so bold it made Ocean's Eleven look like amateur hour. Random thieves in Paris pulled up to the most famous museum in the world, climbed through a window, and in a matter of minutes had grabbed a French monarch's family jewels.
So here we are, closing the book on a year that gave us spy pigeons, overachieving fish, and Kim Kardashian flunking her BAR exam for the third time. If I've learned anything this year, it's that the world is still unpredictable, absurd, and still capable of surprising me in the most ridiculous ways. In 2026, I want to spend less time doomscrolling and more time laughing at the news, at myself, and at the miracle of being here to be able to watch it all unfold.
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Danny Browning is a nationally touring stand-up comedian, clean corporate entertainer, and monthly humor columnist for News4U Evansville. Based in Southern Indiana, he has performed at comedy clubs, corporate galas, and nonprofit fundraisers across Indianapolis, Louisville, Evansville, Cincinnati, and beyond, including the Improv, the Funny Bone, and stages alongside Norm MacDonald, Jim Norton, and Jennifer Coolidge. Comedy & Curiosities is his attempt to be funny without a microphone. It's going okay.
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Danny Browning | Comedian, Humorist & Monthly Troublemaker for News4U Evansville