Easter Eggs, Tax Season, and the Most Confusing Month of the Year
Danny Browning April 2025 - NEWS4U Evansville
Breaking News: The Easter Bunny will be charging an egg surcharge.
April is a weird month. One minute, you're picking out pastel-colored outfits and planning Easter brunch, the next, you're staring at your tax return, wondering if selling a kidney counts as "additional income." (Turns out, it's very illegal.)
Easter is fun. I've always been confused about the Easter Bunny. Who decided a giant rabbit should be in charge of eggs? Was there a meeting where someone said, "Kids like bunnies, kids like eggs! Boom!" and everybody just went along with it? Meanwhile, real rabbits are out here doing normal rabbit things, completely unaware that their holiday mascot is running some underground egg distribution ring like a springtime version of Santa Claus high on Easter grass.
And speaking of eggs, enough with these silly chickens having the flu. We need a break. At this point, hiding eggs for an Easter egg hunt is just an excuse to make your kids do security detail for your groceries. "Alright, Timmy, you'd better find all 12 eggs because that was $7.99, and we're having omelets tomorrow." Maybe it's time for the IRS to introduce an "egg surcharge" tax. They're already taking most of our money this month; they might as well make it themed.
Taxes. The true spirit of the month. Nothing humbles a person faster than doing their own taxes. I start confident, thinking, I've got this. Then, three minutes into TurboTax, I'm questioning every life choice I've ever made. "Wait, do I own a farm? Why is this even a question?" The only people who understand taxes are accountants and whoever writes those IRS instructions that make me feel like I failed middle school English.
And if that's not enough, April also comes with the ever-charming April showers. Nothing like unpredictable rain to keep you slipping in your flip-flops. You leave the house in sunglasses, and by lunchtime, you're running through a parking lot, using a grocery bag as a makeshift umbrella. Not to mention, you never know what it will be like in the Midwest. That rain might turn to snow, and then we're all freaking out like a kid who dropped his jelly beans.
So good luck this April! I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this is National Humor Month! With that, may your tax refund be big, your breakfast food reasonably priced, and may you LAUGH all the way into May.
April is a weird month. One minute, you're picking out pastel-colored outfits and planning Easter brunch, the next, you're staring at your tax return, wondering if selling a kidney counts as "additional income." (Turns out, it's very illegal.)
Easter is fun. I've always been confused about the Easter Bunny. Who decided a giant rabbit should be in charge of eggs? Was there a meeting where someone said, "Kids like bunnies, kids like eggs! Boom!" and everybody just went along with it? Meanwhile, real rabbits are out here doing normal rabbit things, completely unaware that their holiday mascot is running some underground egg distribution ring like a springtime version of Santa Claus high on Easter grass.
And speaking of eggs, enough with these silly chickens having the flu. We need a break. At this point, hiding eggs for an Easter egg hunt is just an excuse to make your kids do security detail for your groceries. "Alright, Timmy, you'd better find all 12 eggs because that was $7.99, and we're having omelets tomorrow." Maybe it's time for the IRS to introduce an "egg surcharge" tax. They're already taking most of our money this month; they might as well make it themed.
Taxes. The true spirit of the month. Nothing humbles a person faster than doing their own taxes. I start confident, thinking, I've got this. Then, three minutes into TurboTax, I'm questioning every life choice I've ever made. "Wait, do I own a farm? Why is this even a question?" The only people who understand taxes are accountants and whoever writes those IRS instructions that make me feel like I failed middle school English.
And if that's not enough, April also comes with the ever-charming April showers. Nothing like unpredictable rain to keep you slipping in your flip-flops. You leave the house in sunglasses, and by lunchtime, you're running through a parking lot, using a grocery bag as a makeshift umbrella. Not to mention, you never know what it will be like in the Midwest. That rain might turn to snow, and then we're all freaking out like a kid who dropped his jelly beans.
So good luck this April! I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this is National Humor Month! With that, may your tax refund be big, your breakfast food reasonably priced, and may you LAUGH all the way into May.
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Danny Browning is a nationally touring stand-up comedian, clean corporate entertainer, and monthly humor columnist for News4U Evansville. Based in Southern Indiana, he has performed at comedy clubs, corporate galas, and nonprofit fundraisers across Indianapolis, Louisville, Evansville, Cincinnati, and beyond, including the Improv, the Funny Bone, and stages alongside Norm MacDonald, Jim Norton, and Jennifer Coolidge. Comedy & Curiosities is his attempt to be funny without a microphone. It's going okay.
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Danny Browning | Comedian, Humorist & Monthly Troublemaker for News4U Evansville